3 Things Women Say But Don’t Mean: Dating Tips For Men

People, not just women, say things they don’t mean. Often, we take statements that people make way too literally.  Here are a few common statements that women make, and dating tips for men on how to interpret them.


I’m not a jealous person.

Translation: I am a jealous person.  

In this example “jealous” could be replaced with any other negative adjective to describe the way they’re acting at that moment.  “I’m not an angry person,” for example, usually means “I’m an angry person.”  People, both men and women, don’t want to come off dislikable.   So when they become jealous or otherwise,  they try to figure out how not to be perceived that way.  What’s the easiest way of accomplishing this?  Say that they aren’t.

Dating tips for men: Count the number of times people (not just women) say “I’m not _____.”  You’ll amazed how often people say stuff like this.


He’s creepy.

I remember women would say this in college, and it used to drive me nuts. I felt like I had to walk on egg shells so that women wouldn’t think I was creepy.  The fact is, women say guys are “creepy” or “gross” very liberally.

Granted, a lot of guys ARE creepy.  But I really believe it’s a two way street.  Yes, some men really do cross boundaries.  At the same time, because the word has such a bad stigma, many women use the C word to their advantage.

While I don’t recommend being that “creepy guy,” I’d go as far to say that if you haven’t been called creepy by a woman for taking a miscalibrated risk, something’s wrong.

Dating tips for men: If you’re ever called creepy, the last thing that you should do is get your feelings hurt over it.

If a woman talks about how man is creepy, it usually is because he’s legitimately making her feel uncomfortable.  But women also enjoy huge secondary benefits from calling guys creepy.   If a woman says to friends “Chris is so creepy,” what she is really saying is “look at me, I’m more desirable than all of you other girls. Chris wants me so bad that took measures to make me feel uncomfortable to get with me.”  In other words, it’s a way of establishing female dominance.


I don’t think that he’s cute.

Translation:  I don’t want to admit to my friends what I really think about his appearance.  

Men get their egos shattered when they hear that a woman says he’s not attractive.  But let’s face it: some women goes as far to say that certain celebrities aren’t attractive.  The fact is that what a person says means absolutely nothing about what they really think.

Women and men alike tend to be very conservative about who they say is attractive, and very liberal about who they say is unattractive.  It has nothing to do with how they actually feel, and everything to do with reputation. Women especially need to come off as extremely selective in order to maintain their status as a lady.   If she said too many men more attractive, some might wonder if she too “easy.”  Instead, men and women alike declare an unfair majority of people unattractive, without regard to their feelings.

Dating tips for men:  If you hear woman saying that you are unattractive, do not take it literally.

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