4 More Things Women Say But Don’t Mean & Dating Tips For Men

Here are some more things women (and sometimes men) say, but don’t mean, as well as descriptions and dating tips for men.  To find more of these sayings and dating tips for men on how to respond, click here.


He’s such an asshole.

Translation: I like him, but I’m not getting what I want from him.

Sometimes, we dislike people because they’re evil, like Adolf Hitler, Osama bin Laden, or Joseph Kony.   Most of the time, we dislike people for selfish reasons.  “He did it on purpose, he such an asshole.”  “She cheated on me, that bitch!”  In other words, we wanted something from them, and didn’t get it.

The thing is, the guy who gets the name-calling is actually acting pretty assertive.   Like a misbehaving middle school student, he has total control of the situation.  He thrives off the attention, negative or positive.  When women call guys asshole, it’s usually because that’s the only thing they can do (and it’s usually to no avail).

Who wants to bet that guys like this are the ones that get all the girls? Dating tips for men: If a woman (or anyone for that matter) calls you an asshole, it’s probably good thing.



I’m curious.

Translation:  I’m about to judge you for something– but I want to hide from you how much it really matters to me.

I remember once I was talking with a woman, and she found out that I was at the pickup artist boot camp getting dating tips for men.   I could tell that she didn’t like it. But rather than having the decency to  tell me that she disagreed, she said “I’m curious, why do you do this? Don’t worry, I won’t judge you.”

She ended up cross-examining me with a barrage of questions. At the time, I didn’t know what she was doing, but if this happened to me now, I would run. She used “I’m curious” is a trap to get me to qualify myself– while in reality, she was only interested finding the dirt so she could judge me later on.

Dating tips for men: If you hear someone say “I’m curious,” when asking a question, don’t take the bait.  Move on in the conversation, or move on to the next person.



I’m not having sex with you tonight.

Translation: I want to have sex with you tonight, but only if you will respect me in the morning.

Usually, women will say “I’m not having sex with you” when you are already at her place, on her bed, making out. Of course you are going to do it. If she didn’t want you period,  she wouldn’t have had you over.   By having a man over she’s only known for a month max, she knows there’s at least a chance that you two are going to do the mambo.

The thing is, her reputation is critical.  If you wind up at her place (or your own), she’s attracted to you enough to get in the sheets with you.   But just because she’s attracted to you doesn’t mean she knows you. How does she know that you’re not going to kiss and tell to all your friends the next day?

She’s very attracted to you, but doesn’t want you to know.  So, before you get any ideas, she makes the statement “we are not having sex tonight.”

Dating tips for men:  The fact is, this can easily be turned around by (1)  getting her turned on and (2)  proactively demonstrating that you respect her, and women in general.


No offense, but…

Translation: I intend on offending you with this next statement, but I’m to weak to handle your rebuttal.

When I was an undergraduate, I once had a graduate student tell me “I don’t like going to Bar X, there are too many undergrads there… no offense.”

No offense?  What does that even mean?  Of course he meant to offend me with that statement!  If he didn’t, why did he say it in the first place?  “No offense” MEANS “offense.”  Part of him probably felt ashamed at his dislike for undergrads, which is why he softened his statement with “no offense.”  But an insult is an insult, softener or not.

Dating tips for men:

1.)  If someone says “no offense,” take it as offensive!

2.)  If you ever have something offensive to say, say it loud and proud or don’t say it at all– but don’t say “no offense.”

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