Consider a woman who is beautiful not by society’s definition, but by your own.
Perhaps other guys think that she’s hot. But she doesn’t have to be the hottest one of the group.
In fact, the very flaws the keep her from being “regulation hot” are the very things that you find attractive in her. An awkward smile, an off-beat style. Maybe she hides her pretty face behind a pair of thick glasses so that you only see her beauty when you are intimate.
Women who are uniquely beautiful often to put a lot of thought into who they are, and try to make their external appearance match their inner selves.
Or maybe they put no thought at all, and they’re just beautiful. Their personality and warmth radiate from their deepest core.
Unlike the stereotypical “regulation hottie” or sorority girl, they’re unafraid of showing their vulnerability. Perhaps she, like you, was not always liked and adored, yet she found her way by embracing who she was.
Hipsters, goths, and emos, ravers, and women from other subcultures have mastered this form of beauty. They may beautify themselves for social validation or sexual attention, but only if it doesn’t compromise who they are. Beauty to them is art.
Try as you might, you can’t rate a woman like this on a scale of one to ten. Her looks are fluid with who she is inside, and when you see her, you see more than just a trophy. You see all of her– good and bad. You feel like you could love her even when she grows old. Objectifying her just wouldn’t seem fair.
I am attracted to these women because I see something in them that matches myself. Perhaps the attributes she shares with me are actually flaws. Unlike gaining validation or gratification, men gain compassion from these unique, feminine women.
Dating tip for men: Unlike other women, these women appreciate your appreciation. You can give her a direct compliment about her appearance without the risk that she will use your kind words as a weapon against you.
These women are emotionally gratifying to me. And so by dating a woman like this, you run the risk of limerence and putting her on a pedestal.
Is sex with these women good? Often, yes. But take caution. You can’t love a woman who complements you if you don’t love yourself. If you see things in her that match parts about yourself that you don’t like, you won’t be turned on by her. You may not be aware of these attribute, but you dick will know.
Dating tip for men: Your dick, the root of your sexual subconscious, will only get hard for a woman if he knows he is going enter a safe place.
Though most guys say they want a Victoria’s Secret model, they often end up going for women like this. The good people of okcupid.com did a study where they discovered that men are less likely to message women who are rated high across the board. Instead, they message women who some men find attractive, but others do not.
Perhaps men are intimidated by women who too many men find attractive. The competition is too much for the apparent scarcity of “regulation hot” women.
Do you like live music? Do you like poetry readings? Perhaps there won’t be as many “regulation hotties” at events like these are there are at exclusive nightclubs. But these women don’t go out to be seen, or to attract attention and validation. They flock to
Dating tip for men: What are you passionate about? Don’t just go out to “sarge” or “pick up chicks.” Go out to enjoy yourself.
Dating tip for men: Love yourself, and women will love you.
There aren’t many dating tips for men beyond that on how to attract these sorts of women, because they are all different. These women make men feel safe to be around. They use their own intuition to attract them, without feeling the need to use pick up lines or read a lot of dating tips for men.
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Images taken from http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hipster/180298778660050 , http://hollyhocksandtulips.tumblr.com/ , and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hylas